C Jay Anderson
PO BOX 375,
Lewisville, TX 75067
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Grief Bridge - War Wall for Angel Moms & Dads
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Grief Bridge - MUSIC Therapy
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Grief Bridge - Grief Education
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C Jay Anderson-McKay
I was born and raised in California. I grew up in mining camps in the desert outside of Las Vegas and graduated from DEATH VALLEY HIGH SCHOOL.
I thought doing my homework by candlelight, cooking on a ring of rocks and sleeping on bunkbeds under the stars was tough!
I thought growing up without a television, telephone or radio was tough!
I thought hauling drinking, cooking and bathing water in a 55 gallon drum up a dirt road was tough!
I thought living 20 miles from our closest neighbor was tough!
I thought riding in a jeep 20+ miles, on a rocky, dirt road,
to catch the school bus, in 110 degree weather was tough!
I thought being a single mother of 3, while taking care of my father who was battling cancer, for 5 years was tough!
I thought sitting on my father's bed, holding his hand while he took his last breath was tough!
I thought finding out my mother had the same environmental cancer was a nightmare!
I thought taking care of my mother, fighting the same kind of kidney cancer as my father, the last 4 years of her life, and being her only care giver was tough!
I thought being a mother of a child struggling with addiction for 15 years was tough!
NO MATTER HOW TOUGH LIFE GOT...
NOTHING PREPARED ME
TO RECEIVE A CALL FROM THE CORONER THAT MY CHILD HAD PASSED AWAY!
NOTHING PREPARED ME TO STAND AT THE FOOT OF MY SON'S COFFIN!
NOTHING PREPARED ME TO BURY A SECOND SON!
HOW COULD SOCIETY THINK YOU COULD JUST GET OVER THE DEATH OF A CHILD AND MOVE ON?
MY SON'S ARE WITH ME EVERYDAY, "ALIVE IN HEAVEN" AND MY BOND AND RELATIONSHIP MAY HAVE CHANGED, BUT IT WILL NEVER END!
BECAUSE ALTHOUGH I BURIED MY CHILDREN,
I DID NOT BURY MY LOVE FOR THEM!
THAT LOVE CONTINUES TO GROW EVEN STRONGER IN THEIR PHYSICAL ABSENCE.
UNTIL WE MEET AGAIN MY PRECIOUS SONS.
I LOVE YOU, MOM
I am available to speak at church, schools, organizations or women's groups.
PURPLE STANDS FOR ROYALTY AND COMPASSION
Here I am with my PURPLE hair!
I have been wearing my hair PURPLEfor over 9 years now!
Just after my son Ben, was killed, I was so appalled at the lack of compassion in the world!
Everyone seemed to just go about their business like
"NOTHING EVER HAPPENED".
I dyed my hair PURPLE to make a statement!
PURPLE stands for Royalty and Compassion.
My sons are now in the presence of Royalty and the world needs more compassion!
I call this story:
Grief in the Grocery Store 101
I am a firm believer we have to tell our story 1,000+ times before we can begin to heal, healthy.
I knew I had to tell my story or wallow in my grief!
Nobody close to me wanted to hear the sad story about my sons and they mysteriously disappeared from my life, so I was left all alone in my grief. That was a huge anxiety builder!
That's when I created GRIEF IN THE GROCERY STORE!
I would go to the grocery store and stand in the longest line, just waiting for someone to mention the color in my hair, and they did!
These strangers had not heard my story and were eager to listen.
I would explain to them that PURPLE is for Royalty and stands for Compassion.
My PURPLE hair is to bring awareness of compassion to the grieving community and honor my sons who are "ALIVE IN HEAVEN" and reside with Royalty in Heaven!
My PURPLE hair was a great ice breaker!
Sometimes the ice breaker is the tattoo on my foot of a guitar with Angel Wings! I can teach you ice breakers to open the door to your healing!
Once they made a comment, I would thank them for asking and tell them my story. I have done this 1,000+ times and it has been a HUGE success in my healing walk over the Grief Bridge!
People don't understand because they have not walked in our shoes.
We have been promoted to the status experts, whether we like it or not!
It now becomes our responsibility to teach them!
To teach people the importance of saying our child's name and to have someone just be there for us, even if they sit in silence.
That is what we crave and desperately NEED!
Just to LISTEN! No judgement or cliche's needed.
I always ended my conversation by thanking them for being a part of my healing and give them a hug💜
United we can change the way the world does grief and divide the pain!
My Bible says we are to
"Share our Burdens"
"The Greatest Commandment is Love!"
GRIEF IS A FORM OF LOVE!
I love you my sisters & brothers in Grief💜
"A Disciple of Jesus leaves where they are and goes where God wants them to go, to do what God wants them to do."
A Disciple is moved by a mission, to take the message wherever it needs to go.
I am a Disciple!
I am called to go out and share God's love, meeting the hurts of people.
I have a Grief Ministry, birthed by the loss of 2 precious sons.
If you are a church or a group of Bereaved Parents,
I will travel to your church or group and share my story of HOPE!
The passion in my heart is to help you move from
Heartbreak to Hope.
COMPASSION RUNS THROUGH THE BIBLE
"Weep with those who weep."
THIS IS ONE OF THE WAYS GOD COMFORTS US!
A Butterfly that followed me all day on a 2 mile Kayak trip one day a few months after Ben's promotion to heaven.
MY NAME IS CJAY ANDERSON-MCKAY, MOTHER OF FOUR.
TWO ON EARTH AND TWO "ALIVE IN HEAVEN."